The story has always been the same.
No matter the time or era.
For a woman in divorce, the feelings of loss and sadness can be overwhelming and devastating.
Nowadays for women, divorce can also bring an exhilarating feeling of liberation and release…
But for all the rights women have achieved to help us gain equality and economic independence after divorce, the truth is that those rights are often only good on paper.
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How Far We’ve Come
& The New Backlash
Today, women are legally entitled to economic independence and fair treatment. But those rights are not always honored during divorce and custody proceedings. In fact, it appears a major backlash is underway against women and children in the courts. For example, child endangerment cases are often treated as “high conflict” custody battles, with devastating outcomes where children are handed over to abusers, over the protective parent’s objections.
Those rights are not always honored during divorce proceedings.
Why the System Fails Women
The System Is Not on Your Side
There is no single national database that tracks the number of women harmed or killed specifically after they separate from their spouse or partner after a family court or divorce court case begins. However, research and data from various sources provide a clear and disturbing picture of the risks involved.
In the excellently researched article, “Post Separation Abuse: A literature review connecting tactics to harm,” authors Kathryn J Spearman, Viola Vaughan-Eden, Jennifer L Hardesty, Jacquelyn Campbell write:
“Separation is well-established with an increased risk for lethality for women and children (Adhia et al., 2019; Campbell et al., 2003). Separation, divorce, and child custody disputes, i.e. family court involvement, were identified as pre-cursors to nearly half (46%) of family homicides involving multiple victims in a study of mass shootings compiled (Fridel, 2021). Journal of Family Trauma, Child Custody & Child Development Volume 21, 2024 – Issue 2 doi: 10.1080/26904586.2023.2177233”
Post-Separation Abuse and “Intimate Terrorism”
The authors continue:
“Post-separation abuse is often a continuation or escalation of patterns of “intimate terrorism” that occurred in the relationship (Johnson et al., 2014). These forms of abuse should be differentiated from “situational violence”, where for example, individuals resort to physical violence during conflict, but not with the intent or motive to dominate and control their partner (Johnson et al., 2014). The purpose of this literature review is to critically synthesize the broad range of tactics of post-separation abuse as they relate to harms experienced by survivors. The increased risk for lethality in intimate partner homicides (Campbell et al., 2003), and the increased prevalence of other forms of victimization (Rezey, 2020). The other distinguishing factor is the role of family court and legal systems that regulate the post-separation context, particularly when children are shared. How abuse is framed has significant implications for how abuse is addressed. The divorce and custody literature—which focuses primarily on conflict—has largely developed apart from the domestic violence literature (Hardesty et al., 2012). But when conflict is conflated with abuse, the wrong interventions may be applied. The assaults on the autonomy, liberty, and fundamental needs of a human being give violence its power and meaning, and family violence must be understood within this context.”
Family Court Is Not a Neutral Arbiter
We know from these studies and my own nationally-acclaimed book, Divorced From Justice: The Abuse of Women and Children by Divorce Lawyers and Judges (ReganBooks/HarperCollins 1996) that Family Court is not a neutral arbiter of justice. It is a system where gender-based discrimination is systemic, and it actively participates in the abuse of women and children.
The tragic outcomes we see aren’t accidents; they’re the predictable result of a system that allows men to dehumanize, control, and destroy women and children, who are still treated as property. Reports from across the country tell the same harrowing story: abusive men are believed, and their rights are championed, while women and children are dismissed and their voices silenced.
The “Abuser’s Playbook” Is Rewarded
Women lose their homes, their jobs, and their children, who are ripped from protective mothers and placed with the very fathers who harm them. The “Abuser’s Playbook,” a collection of manipulative legal tactics, isn’t just tolerated—it’s rewarded.
Parallels to Jeffrey Epstein
The devastating injustices we see every day in family court are a direct parallel to how powerful abusers like Jeffrey Epstein operated with impunity for decades. Epstein used his wealth and influence to manipulate the legal system, just as abusers in family court weaponize the legal process to continue their control.
And just as Epstein’s co-abusers were shielded and rewarded for their complicity, the family court system consistently rewards abusers’ legal tactics with favorable outcomes. This is not a coincidence; it is a clear symptom of a system that prioritizes power and patriarchal norms over justice and the safety of the vulnerable.
My Consultations Can Help Neutralize the Power Imbalance
My consultations are an essential resource for women seeking to gain knowledge and support to try to find a way to neutralize this power imbalance. By working with me, you will gain a profound understanding of your case, the tactics being used against you, and the systemic vulnerabilities that can be exploited.
I provide the strategic guidance and use my knowledge and forethought to your advantage. The goal is to move beyond a passive, trusting approach to a proactive, empowered strategy that secures your future.
The Hidden Cost of Legal Battles
For many women, money becomes the limiting factor.
When legal fees mount, women often forced to concede rights or accept unfair settlements. The deeper pockets typically win and in most heterosexual divorces, that’s still the man.
Even when the law is on a woman’s side, her ability to enforce it depends on resources, stamina, and access to zealous representation which many don’t have.
The result is a system that appears equal but often functions with deep inequality as Karen Winner pointed out in her groundbreaking nationally-acclaimed book, Divorced From Justice: The Abuse of Women and Children by Divorce Lawyers and Judges (ReganBooks/Harper Collins, 1996).
Over the years, I’ve heard from thousands of women throughout the country. Their stories are variations on the same theme:
Model Attorney-Client Retainer Agreement (Hourly Fee Basis)
Working with Lawyers | Women in Divorce
A professionally crafted, ready-to-use retainer agreement for hiring an attorney on an hourly basis. Ideal for clients seeking clarity, fairness, and protection in legal engagements.
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Working with Lawyers | Women in Divorce
A powerful and practical guide that walks you through preparing your Statement of Net Worth in a divorce, ensuring financial clarity, smarter legal strategy, and long-term security.
Finding the Right Divorce Lawyer
A powerful step-by-step guide by Karen Winner on how to choose the right divorce lawyer, avoid costly mistakes, and protect yourself during the process.